I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
