Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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