Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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