Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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