you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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