I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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