Where is the hickey?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
