Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
