I wannas sexs uuuuu
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
