Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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