hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
