And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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