You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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