It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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