We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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