Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
