Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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