I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
