I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
