new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
