Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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