Your mouth is God's brothel.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
