its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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