my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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