in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
