That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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