Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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