everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
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