I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I think my vagina is haunted
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Let's paint friendship bongs
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
