How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
