i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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