All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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