sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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