i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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