I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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