I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
