I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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