its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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