NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Randomize