I feel great
I just peed on a car
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
