Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
