It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
