you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
