We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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