I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
