She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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