i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
