In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Man, jail baloney is awful.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
