got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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