when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
