i jhust puked up my retainher.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
