I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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