she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
