We won't sleep together?
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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