I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
They have beer where we have blood.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
