I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
