when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
