Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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