Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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