I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
