I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
