Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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