this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
