Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize